Friday, September 3, 2010

Are you ready for wings?


Rip off the band aid! Just rip it off!



Not exactly the words I wanted to hear but they needed to be said. This morning, I brought my youngest daughter to her first day of kindergarten and "rip off the band aid" is what the teacher told ME to do.


"It will hurt for just a minute," she told me. "She'll be fine. You'll be fine."

At first it seemed cruel. To wave goodbye and walk away just moments after we arrived at the coat rack inside the kindergarten door. As the teacher showed her where to put her backpack, my daughter looked worried. Her uneasiness made me want to rip off my fake smile and say, "Forget this. We'll just do home preschool again." But I didn't. I couldn't. I knew she was ready for more.  So, I put on a confident smile knowing she would follow suit. And she did. It took her barely a minute to find a friend she knew and claim a spot at the cutting table. She was going to be fine. But was I?


I didn't think I could do it.  I'm very attached to this little one who clung to my leg like peanut butter on jelly. (Part of me wanted to cling to her leg!)  Secretly, I've been dreading this separation for weeks because I'm losing my little side-kick who’s been with me for five years while the other kids have been at school. Besides, turning over your child to a teacher you've barely met for 30 minutes at a meet and greet the day before begs a mother's trust. Was I ready? No. And Mrs. Scott could tell. She was a great coach, though. Rip it off, she said to me. It will hurt for just a second. I hated that thought and the anticipation almost killed me. But in the end it all turned out okay.

Once again things have changed at the Robinson household. Sometimes I wish we were like butterflies and had to spin our cocoon only once and be done with it. But instead, a mother's cocoon evolves and changes continuously and that's how God intended it.

As the mother of four children, change is what I do. My children are constantly changing and growing and because of that I seem to change a lot. I don't always like it. And sometimes it hurts when I feel the initial "rrrrrrip"! But it usually turns out to be the best thing that has ever happened.

The first day of kindergarten and I had three hours all to myself. At first, that sounded like heaven. But ouch! Ripping off that band aid hurt! I know my little caterpillar has a new pair of wings and that’s a good thing. In fact, it is a very good thing. But it will probably take me some time to embrace these new wings. It seems like just yesterday I was carrying my Zoebug in a shoulder pouch I referred to as "her house." I wanted to keep her as close to my heart as I could. And I still do. Before school, I gave her a little heart-shaped stone to put in her pocket while she was at school so when she missed me she could rub it and know that I was thinking of her. Funny thing is I had to buy two. One for her and one for me. (During those three hours, I had to rub mine three times.) I doubt she even thought about the heart in her pocket because she was so busy cutting, coloring, and singing on the blue rug. It's all good. Growing wings is good.

Rip off that band aid and you'll feel a little sting. But in the end you'll see the blessings of giving your child wings.


2 comments:

  1. Oh, I understand. When my daughter started kindergarten, the teacher later told me it took two weeks for her to finally move away from the door and sit at her desk. Tore my heart apart to hear that. But my little girl is all grown up now and doing fine. This too will pass.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really like this one. Good job Mom! And you are right, the bandaids keep needing to be ripped off...because the wounds will continue to come. But in the end, we all do have wings and boy are they hard earned and beautiful!

    ReplyDelete