Twelve Steps to Recovery--A Mighty Miracle that Changes Lives

"I believe that people are good if you give them half a chance and that good is more powerful than evil."  Lois Wilson—birth mother of AL-ANON

Sitting on the window ledge in my kitchen is a geode. It was given to me by my friends at House of Hope, a drug recovery treatment center in downtown Salt Lake. For ten years, I've spent most of my Friday's teaching motivational and life skills classes to women trying to overcome substance abuse.  When someone new shows up in my class, her insecurities, despair, and hopelessness are not hard to miss.  Her countenance is dark.  She is clearly unsure of House of Hope and most certainly is unsure of me.  She questions if she's even going to make it.

Some women come in fighting, full of anger at the "world" for doing "this" to them that, at first, they are hard to reach. But then something miraculous happens.  They spend time in the program and they begin to soften. They begin to, as their counselors call it, "trust the process." In group and in one-on-ones, these women begin to learn tools and coping skills that help them deal with life's stresses.  They slowly uncover the reasons for using drugs and drinking alcohol and then a new acceptance emergers as they admit they need help and surrender to their higher power. I've seen it happen over and over and over. Women who have been to jail. Women who have lost custody of their kids. Women who have experienced domestic violence, done drug deals, prostituted themselves.  Anything and everything that comes with drug life, they've seen and done it; and I've watched them shed their skin and transform into beautiful, confident, radiant souls anxious to tackle the world clean and sober.  It happens. And it happens every day at House of Hope.

So, back to my geode. Lisa presented it to me at the Alumni Tea, a yearly celebration for all those women in recovery. Almost two hundred were in attendeance this year.  Lisa placed the broken rock full of crystals in my hands.  She said, "Jodi, this is how you see the women of House of Hope. When the world sees the rough, rock exterior. You see the crystals inside." And I do.  Thank you, Lisa.  I will treasure that rock and every time I look at it sitting on my kitchen ledge I'll say a quick prayer for a woman still living in her addiction.

"I never thought I was good enough," one woman told me. "I didn't deserve to be happy," another shared. Oh, the tragedies of living at a time when the Adversary wreaks havoc on the self-esteems of young women and women.  As we journey towards becoming better people, let us understand as C.S. Lewis did:

"(The Christian) does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." — C.S. Lewis

 Beautifully said.

If any of you watched the Hallmark Hall of Fame TV Movie on April 25th, Sunday night, it was fabulous.  The Lois Wilson Story reveals the dedication and devotion one woman had in her quest to help her husband overcome addiction, a courageous journey that gave birth to Al-ANON.  So, in honor of AA founder Bill Wilson...and his angel wife, Lois Wilson, who stood by her husband to witness the making of a new man, today I post the Twelve Steps.  

Thank you, Bill Wilson. Because you chose to turn your addiction into a miracle of change, millions upon millions live free of their addictions. And thank you, Lois, for bringing millions of women support and help through your brainchild, AL-ANON. 

You don't need to be a recovering-anything to recognize we are all in need of reaching out to our higher power and surrendering our will. Let the steps inspire you as they have me.  And to my friends at House of Hope...NEVER give up! 

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 1. We admitted we were powerless...that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to [others], and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

 Copyright _ A.A. World Services, Inc.

Today’s Book Review: I’ll Know You By Heart by Kimberly Job

If you're looking for "clean" fiction, book reviews are the way to go especially when you're dealing with sensitive topics. How many times have you picked up a book thinking it would decent and by the third page you're disappointed? I'll post some suggestions for book review blogs later in this post. If you have any you'd like to add, feel free to post your comment.

Clean fiction that deals with hard topics. I can suggest such a book. I had the privilege of reviewing Valor Publishing's latest romance novel; I'll Know You By Heart. One woman's emotional journey of overcoming abuse, saving her family, and finding new love. Author, Kimberly Job, deals sensitively with the topic of domestic violence, but also doesn't sugar coat it. I'm a sunny-side up kind of reader so when I know a book deals with a hard topic sensitively I appreciate it.

Kimberly allows her main characters to fall in love through friendship, which makes the love story between Stephanie and Jared believable, although, the book doesn't deliver the whole story simply because it can't. Lasting effects of abuse can't be tidied up just because it's the last page. I'm a bit of a skeptic in that way. I believe writing about abuse can be tricky, yet, it can be done cleanly. I can assure you that the author tastefully writes about a broken marriage and family life, but wraps a love story around it that leaves you feeling hopeful and happy—for the main character and for her children.

I've never had to heal from a wrench in my gut because the someone I loved physically betrayed me. I've not known such personal pain, but, through my work with women at the House of Hope, I know women who have. If we don't talk about it, we can't understand it and we can't help fix it. I believe that.

Domestic violence affects one in every four women (Bureau of Justice Statistics). That's a statistic I hope someday we can eradicate. May the Stephanie's of the world find the Jared's of the world. Now that would be sunny-side-up.


Question of the Day: What Book Reivew Blogs do you recommend? Post your comment.

 Me?  Where do I go?  ANSWER:  I go to my friend Holly. She knows exactly what I like and every recommendation she gives me I love. Too bad I can't give you her phone number.

Book Review Blogs

http://ldswbr.blogspot.com/2010/03/ill-know-you-by-heart.html
http://www.queenoftheclan.com/2010/04/book-review-ill-know-you-by-heart-by.html
http://writing4me2.blogspot.com/2010/04/book-review-ill-know-you-by-heart.html
http://galesears.blogspot.com/,http://www.kathiswritingnook.com/2010/04/interview-with-tristi-pinkston.html,
http://whynotbecauseisaidso.blogspot.com/http://www.daronfraley.com/2010/04/book-review-ill-know-you-by-heart-by-kimberly-job.html

Live for Time and for Eternity

I ran into an old acquaintenance recently.  She told me she remembered me singing in the junior high talent show.  Ah, the 80s.  Big permed hair and leg warmers.  I humbly replied, "Oh!  You remember that.  I hope you don't remember what I was wearing."  Ha.  Ha. 

I thought about my my slick, satin pants with my sparkly red, sequin top.  Oh, dear.  That was an outfit I'd like to forget.  After some short pleasantries with this friend, our visit ended but it got me thinking. What are we going to be remembered for?  And, better yet, how do we want to be remembered?

We need to ask ourselves this question each day so that we stay focussed on what is most important.  How we will be remembered will be determined by how we spend our time. 

In this past weekend's General Conference, I heard this wonderful quote:  We live for time and for eternity. It's the best quote of whole conference!  How would you like to be remembered as someone who lived for time and for eternity?  What does that look like?  How does someone who lives for time and for eternity spend her time?  How does she live?  How does she serve?  How does she give? 

Living for time and for eternity is the concept of begining with the end in mind.  Looking to the future and charting a steady course along the straight and narrow path.  When you live for time only, your choices are different than when you live for eternity.  Eternity brings time into persepctive.  The difference between right and wrong crystalizes. 

Never before has so much been expected of a generation. Never before has so much been given.  We've been told we've been prepared, called, and chosen. This is our time!  How will we spend it?  Time will tell what we value, what we hold precious and dear.  We don't have time to waste or squander.  Once it's spent we can never it get it back. 

Let us not become "distracted, delayed, or disqualified from...doing the very work [we] have been prepared and reserved to do" (Elaine S. Dalton).

Let us live for time and for eternity.  Let us be the generation that keeps our eye on the prize. 

And, by the way, the song I sang in the Union Middle School talent show?  Ice Castles  (oh, the memories)